


Is he? Am I? Are we?

by Shadow7



Category: Blake Shelton (Musician), Gwen Stefani - Fandom, Shefani, The Voice (US) RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-08
Updated: 2017-07-27
Packaged: 2018-11-29 13:47:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11442156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadow7/pseuds/Shadow7
Summary: This is for my Jo! <3





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BitchLikeHomegirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BitchLikeHomegirl/gifts).



_-You wanna go out for drinks?-_ Blake said and the Extra girl laughed out loud. It was Extra’s time and the Australian girl was enjoying the time. Pharrell’s stunned face told me he was just as surprised as I was.

I didn’t like it. I didn’t like her. I didn’t like the situation. Why was Blake being so flirty? He was single. That’s why.

No promises have been made, no love words, a few kisses weren’t promises, stolen kisses under the shadows of the night. Two kisses to be exact. One of them at the end of a long shoot and after a few margaritas that left us happy, warm and giggly and the second one, after a dinner at Pharrell’s, after feeling like losers when everyone was with their spouse. Both occasions, eyes were blown wide and breaths ragged, eyes covered in fear and confusion. We weren’t supposed to do that. We were newly friends whipping each other’s tears, we weren’t…more. Neither of those times we said anything, we pretended it didn’t happen and certainly, it was proven, that didn’t mean that it wasn’t gonna happen again.

Now, I was watching Blake hitting on his interviewer. He asked her for a drink on TV, she didn’t say no and her smile grew twenty times it sizes the second he pulled his dimples out and about. He was ready to move on, he was definitely doing it and why in the name of God was I …upset?

The interview ended with innuendos and giggles, Blake’s eyes sparkling as the interviewer’s, Renee, were looking interested. I took a deep breath and walked towards my trailer, trying to make a sense of whatever I was feeling and thinking. Got into the trailer and got ready to go home, the boys were off with Todd and I was going to join the party, movie, dinner and some games, I needed that. I needed my home, I needed out.

_-Hey, boo-_ Heard a voice calling me up as I approached the parking lot.

_-Pharrell. Hey, what’s up?-_

_-Nothing just had an interview with Blake-_

_-Yeah, I saw part of it-_

_-Yeah, it was great. Interviews with Blake are always fun-_

_-I’m sure they are-_ I said dryly.

_-Going home already, Gwen! Let’s get a few drinks!-_ Adam joined the conversations.

_-I have movie night with my boys-_

_-What time? Let’s celebrate the begging of this new season and we’ll let you go. Even Carson is staying!-_ Carson? That was a good one, he usually left early, he has a radio show and has to fly constantly to New York

_-Ok, an hour and I’m out-_ I said, grabbing Pharrell’s arm and walking back to the trailer area.

_-Y’all. My trailer. It smells nice-_ Pharrell said and we all laughed. My trailer was a disaster, so was Blake’s and Adam’s looked like a bachelor pad trying to turn into a married man one, but failing so far.

_-Where’s gonna be?-_ I heard Blake’s booming voice break the silence of the lot.

_-Pharrell’s-_

_-Cool, let me get a few things and I’ll be right there-_ He said while walking towards his, not before he squeezed my shoulder as he passed by, giving me a smile. Something I couldn’t return at all, considering my current state

We got in and Pharrell put some chairs out, some crackers and Adam brought a couple of bottles – one tequila and one vodka-. We got the cups and then Blake walked in with a white bag twenty minutes later.

_-Hey, I brought food-_ He sat down right next to me, even though there were at least three seats empty around me. He put the bag on the ground and took out some chips and crackers and then got a few chocolates from it, one of those chocolates was my favorite brand one – he gave that one straight to me while looking at me in the eyes with a dimpled smile.

Adam jumped at the table and grabbed one of the bags, Blake got my favorite candy and Adam’s favorite chips and like that, the weird moment was cracked. Carson poured the drinks and we all did a shot of tequila followed by a vodka mixed drink that Blake made and actually tasted delicious.

_-So, what are you guys thinking about the next season? Cristina back?-_ Pharrell asked and both Adam and Blake looked at each other.

_-Hopefully her last season, God I hope so…even if it means that we’ll let her win-_

_-It’s gonna be my last season too-_

_-But you’ll come back, just like Gwen will-_

_-Am I?-_ I asked Blake after he finished his statement.

_-Yes, pretty girl. You will-_ We just looked at each other and a number of words left in the air was going to suffocate me.

Blake’s phone rang and he excused himself when he got the call, he went to the back of the trailer after asking Pharrell.

_-Why did he leave?-_

_-I don’t know…he’s playing mysterious. I think he’s dating or at least he’s into something-_ Carson said

_-What? Already?-_ Pharrell asked.

_-Dude, Blake’s got like…hundreds of women waiting for him to look at them-_

_-Yeah? Damn…-_

_-You wouldn’t believe…-_

_-He did flirt with the Extra girl-_ I intervened and gained a look from Adam, a look I couldn’t quite understand.

_-Oh, he did…-_

_-Did he? What did he say?-_ Carson asked Pharrell who happily shared Blake’s moment and everything that happened after I left the lot- blocking everything was harder than I expected- apparently a lot happened. My eyes glued to the back of the trailer waiting for Blake to walk in.

-Hey- Adam approached me, I didn’t hear him.

_-Hey, you. How’s it going?-_

_-All good, B good… work is well… You? The boys? Divorce? How’s everything?-_

_-Divorce, hard. Gavin is being an ass, he’s usual self I guess. He wants drama, he wants it all, he’s not gonna get it though. There’s proof of the cheating and he knows I’ll pull the trigger so…he’s in an uphill battle. The boys rattled, still, it’s not easy and well, they’re taking it at their own pace which is something that makes me breathe easy. They have their weird out moments but they’re at ease now, it’s been a while since we separated-_

_-Good, so things are going slow but they’re going-_

_-Exactly-_

_-Have you thought about it?-_

_-About what?-_

_-Dating…in general-_

_-I don’t know, to be honest. Sometimes I say, I would never and there other times that I think: why not?-_

_-Do it when it feels right…when you don’t feel guilt anymore-_

_-That’s the right word, guilt-_

_-Listen… Blake’s…-_

_-Hey! What’s up with you two?-_

_-Nothing, P. Just not interested in the gossip-_

_-Yeah, right…-_

_-What gossip?-_ Blake walked in, again, sat right next to me.

_-You and the Extra girl-_

_-What Extra girl?-_

_-The interviewer-_

_-What happened to her?-_

_-You-_

_-Me?-_

_-You were hitting on her-_

_-Just a bit…just having fun-_

_-Yes, you were-_ I said dryly.

-Hey, hey… good for you. Did she say anything after I left you two talking?- Pharrell asked. Were they talking after the interview? Did he ask for her number or maybe she did? Was he talking to her? Blake has been texting none stop since his call ended and it was driving me crazy, he would check his phone, smile, answer and look up again, comment in whatever we were talking about, make a joke and the phone would ring again, that cycle was driving me crazy.

We settled back, Blake’s arm touching mine, his hand would fly towards my leg, or towards Adam’s arm – punching it, usually- all while answering the freaking texts. After an hour or so, we all started to get a little tired and we called it a night. I hugged the boys –except Blake who stayed behind with Adam- and walked arm in arm with Pharrell towards our cars.

Adam called out Pharrell who turned around and stopped in his feet.

_-Hey, P. Did you heard the new demo? I forgot to ask-_

_-Yeah, man, it’s amazing…-_ I let P go to Adam and the two of them were chatting away about Adam’s new single.  I stood there, not really knowing what to do.

_-Hey-_

_-Blake. Hey-_

_-You ok?-_

_-Yeah…I’m fine-_ As on cue, his phone rang. A message, of course.

_-Wow…You’re busy-_

_-What do you mean?-_

_-The messages… it’s been going on all day-_

_-Yeah, friends-_

_-Sure…friends. I gotta go. I promised my kids a movie night-_

_-You sure, you ok?-_

_-I am-_

_-Pretty girl… don’t lie-_

_-I’m good Blake, ok?-_ I said cutting him off. – _Hey, boys. I gotta go. See you Friday-_ Both waved at me and I walked quickly towards my car, turn it on and head back. Blake hadn’t move and his eyes were set on my car.

 

I got to Todd’s. Spend the night with them, all of us, slept in the living room, watching movies and eating junk food, this is my kind of night, I thought.

_-What is it with you? You came home weird-_

_-Me? Nothing…-_

_-Gwen…-_

_-Blake spent the night hitting on some girl of Extra and then texted the whole night through-_

_-And…it bothers you, because…-_

_-Well…I don’t know-_

_-I thought the kisses meant nothing-_

_-Didn’t... I think. I don’t know…-_

_-Gwen…-_

_-I don’t know what’s going on. I felt like snake curling inside my stomach and pulling it into knots-_

_-Do you think … you want something-?_

_-I don’t know. Adam asked me if I was ready to date. My first thought was no but then, I thought of Blake and a maybe appeared-_

_-You like Blake?-_

_-I do like him…but liking-liking, I don’t know. I like the way he is, he’s easy and fun and a good guy in general, so good…completely different to Gavin. Maybe that’s it-_

_-Maybe it is. Don’t close the doors-_

_-I’ll try-_

We went home and the day turns as it usual self, meeting, camp, movies and time with my boys and then a teary goodbye, they were spending the week at Gavin’s and even though I was sort of, getting used to it, still hurt.

I dropped the kids on Friday morning at Gavin’s, the exchange of words was kept to a minimum, kissed my boys and headed to The Voice set, with one thing in my mind, play it cool. I decided that I was gonna play it cool. I had to. Blake was divorce, he could flirt, could text and could date, it was no my problem, he was free to do it.

_-Play it cool-_ I told myself as I approached my trailer. I kept the phrase running through my brain as I pretended to listen to Gregory’s last trip and I was taking deep breaths.

_-What is it with you? You’re listening and at the same time, you aren’t-_

_-I’m sorry, dropped the boys at Gavin and still weird. Keep talking, I need to know what happened next-_

_-Well... honey, let’s say that you should never, ever, trust a man dressing up like half-cowboy and half-elf-_

_-Oh, God…-_ I just laughed out loud

I got ready and got to the lot, Adam, and Blake already there, even though I was five minutes early to the call.

_-Hey, gorgeous. You look beautiful-_

_-Thank you, Adam. Hi, Blake-_

_-Hey, pretty girl-_

_-So, how are you feeling?-_

_-I’m good-_

_-How did you leave the boys?-_ Of course, Blake remembered that today I had to drop the boys at Gavin’s.

_-Good, they’re good, bored. Apparently, my ex doesn't have much to do in his place, bachelor pad is for adults, not kids-_ He nodded and his eyes were glued to mine.

Pharrell came strolling with Mark and we got to work, some interview and a nice photoshoot, loud music and lots of laughs got my head out of my awkwardness with Blake and my aching heart.

The day ended and it was only a little after five, I headed out to take everything off as I listened Pharrell and Adam gushed about date night, I had nothing to do, or so I thought.

_-Hey, wanna hang?-_ I heard Blake ask, looking at me. I shouldn’t. I shouldn’t. It has been awkward enough. Don’t say yes, don’t say yes…don’t say…

_-Sure. Where?-_

_-Come to my place? I have some things to cook dinner…-_

_-Ok. Wanna carpool?-_ WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

_-Sure… see you in ten-_ I played it cool but I smashed my head against a wall the second I entered my trailer.

I took my clothes off and my heels were off and got my flats out, I had jumped, stood and even danced for at least four hours and in eight inches heels, was a little too much for my poor feet.

I headed out and crashed into a wall of a man, I didn’t have the time to scream or to do anything as a pair of hands grabbed my arms.

_-Jesus, you ok?-_ Blake.

_-Yes, I ...yes-_ I was breathing hard. We went to my car and got in, all in a strange silence that I ain’t sure if it was good or bad, at all.

_-Hungry?-_

_-A bit. I want something yummy-_

_-Yummy?-_

_-Yeah… anything with carbs and regrets-_

_-How about only carbs? No regrets-_

_-Can you do that?-_

_-If I can make that recipe god enough, no regrets at all_ \- Something told me he wasn’t talking about food

We arrived at his place and he headed to the kitchen, I was right behind him.

_-How does, pasta sound with vegetables and lots of mushrooms? With ice cream and lots of syrup and caramel-_

_-Sounds perfect-_

_-Good!-_

He started to cook and I was thoughtfully entertained until he asked me to cut some vegetables.

_-Please don’t cut yourself. Going to the ER wouldn’t look good tonight-_

_-I won’t-_

_-Sweetheart, I have seen you chop-_

_-Shut up-_

The pasta was cooking, we were drinking wine and we were standing right in front of the other in his kitchen, hips against the counters and I still didn’t understand what I was doing there. His phone rang. Damn it.

_-Can I ask you something and I want you to answer me as … truthful as possible.-_

_-What is it?-_

_-Were you jealous the other day?-_ I stopped breathing. His eyes were locked on mine.

_-I don’t know. I truly don’t know-_

_-Why?-_

_-You seemed to have it figured it out, I think I’m a little jealous of that-_

_-Figure it out?-_

_-Yeah… I mean, you were flirting and happy and giggly and I barely can drop my kids at Gavin’s without bursting into tears. It's not like I don't love my children but you could have a clean break up without collateral, seems nice... seemed easy to envy. You know how much it hurts whenever I have to drop the boys and how much it hurts to see their confuse and hurt eyes in those moments-_

_-I don’t have it figure it out…at all-_

_-You seemed to have it when you asked that girl for drinks-_

_-I didn’t…-_

_-Blake, I was there. I heard it. I heard you-_

_-If I wanted to ask her out I wouldn’t use a simple line as a pickup. I wouldn’t use her job as a pickup-_

_-Wouldn't you? You sounded damn real when she asked you what do you wanted to be asked-_

_-Gwen…if I’ve had asked her out, I would have done it without cameras, I would have lured her into my place with Italian food and ice cream-_ He said and my breathing stopped again, for the fifth time in the last five minutes.

_-Blake…-_ He came up to me, stood close to me.

_-Is there another reason why you’re jealous, is something else that pissed you off?-_

I didn’t answer. I couldn’t. did he asked me out, was this a date? What?

_-Tell me. I laid it out, it’s your turn. I’ve been waiting for you to bring op the last two times we have hung out and you haven’t-_

_-I didn’t know what to say-_

_-What do you want to say, don’t think about it? Were you jealous for another reason?-_

_-Blake… what are you doing, I don’t get it-_

_-The pasta will be ready in a couple of minutes. Take me out of my misery-_

_-Blake…-_

_-Tell me-_

_-Yes… I was. I am-_

_-What is it?-_

_-Blake…-_

_-Tell me. Say it-_

_-Blake…-_

_-Say it-_

_-I didn’t like it. Ok? I hated the fact that you had asked her out and flirted with her and with me... nothing. We kissed two times and you didn’t say anything, you didn’t do anything, you were being you and me was pissed as fuck for the fact that you were ….you and I was a mess and the, there you were laughing and flirting and I was…-_ Stopped. Blake put his hands on my head and took my breath away with one hard kiss.

His tongue entered my mouth and I felt my whole body started to shiver, I fisted his shirt and I arched against him, his neck was bent so far, I was sure he was gonna have neck pain. I got on my tip toes and his hands moved to my hips and pushed me back to the counter, he lifted me and I felt like a doll, I was sure I should be pissed about it but I wasn’t because, simply in this way I could hold his hair and finally clash against my whole body him – which I did-

Our tongues were dancing, it wasn’t a fight for dominance it was a slow recognition, we were exploring what the other liked what it turned it on and we enjoy the pace of it, it was slow and sweet, so sweet it almost hurt.

His hands on my waist pulled me to him until there wasn’t even an inch between us, my breast pressed to his chest and slowly I wrapped my legs around him. He pushed me down a bit, I felt the back of the counter grace my back but not completely laid on it, his hard body pushing me down. I didn’t know how much I could enjoy a kiss and once again, Blake proved me how good being kissed could be. His hand left my waist suddenly and his lips left mine.

This time his eyes weren’t blown but were half opened and he had a stupid smile on his face, his lips were completely red and swollen.

_-We almost burnt the pasta-_ He said and I remembered the fact that he had been cooking the past for dinner.

I moved my head back and my back hit the counter top as I tried to contain my breathing. I felt his lips on my neck, kissing and nibbling its way up until he took my ear, he bit it and tugged it.

_-Wanna eat?-_

_-I’m not sure-_ I answered, quite frankly.  He laughed and pulled me up, his forehead resting on top of mine and our eyes locked.

_-Hi, pretty girl-_

_-Hi, cowboy-_

_-Wanna make out until it hurts and then eat?-_

_-Yeah, I do-_ I pulled him towards me and I tugged his lip, nibbled it and he groaned when my legs wrapped around his middle. Eating reheated pasta with swollen lips was better than I ever expected.


	2. Blake's Turn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Second and last part, as I promised Jo!   
> And... of course, a double update xD

 

What the fuck was I doing? God damn it. Was I really that fucking desperate to know what the hell was going on between Gwen and I that I had been close to stalking her for the hell of knowing what was going on between us? Yes and that’s way I’m avoiding any kind of Gwen related conversation.

We have been in a weird dance the last few weeks, lots of texts, some funny ones and some sad ones, we have sent pictures, we had a few late night calls and this week had dinner together two times and still had no fucking clue what was going on. I could only wish for something to be up but she hadn’t given me any in and I was- for sure- not asking for one, not after not knowing for sure that she had moved on from her ex.

I had called Adam to ask him to go to the restaurant with me, I told him that a friend had talked to me about it and since Behati was out of town, why not? It did take me a while to convince him to go out but at the end, I won. Adam got intense whenever she wasn’t around.

_-Who exactly told you about this place?-_  Adam asked me as he took the highway on our way to the north of LA. He had picked me up and we were now on our way to the restaurant.

_-I don’t really remember…-_ Hell, Gwen did. One night we were talking about food and she told me that the best restaurant in LA was a cheap one outside the city, called The Rouge, it specialized in Italian food. – _Might be Amanda, or Casey or… someone. I know it was a girl-_ Maybe Adam will…

_-Gwen?-_ YES

_-Maybe, probably. I don’t know-_ I could remember anything and everything she had said and even the way she said it, since the day we started to talk. If she was talking, I was listening, as simple as that.

_-You two have been talking an awful lot lately-_

_-Yeah, we are both going through divorce and were in shitty marriages, seemed normal to start a… friendship-_ That hesitancy didn’t sound good and Adam’s silence proved me right, he made me look at his face after a while, he had a smug smile on his face and I saw him peeking at me. _–What now?-_

_-Nothing…absolutely nothing-_

_-What? Just say it-_

_-I think it’s normal for people to talk about shitty things…but you two are getting tight. Don’t you dare to say it isn’t true-_ It was true, so I kept quiet. I have told Adam about Gwen and me whereabouts, it was impossible to miss the inside jokes and some of the looks we would give each other, so two weeks into whatever Gwen and I were doing, I let Adam know and first he didn’t believe it and now he can’t seem to  move on the past that.

- _It’s not weird. Yes, we are different but Gwen and I can be friends, hell you and I are friends. We are very different-_

_-Yeah, but it developed in months of us working together… and neither of us is gay-_

_-Is Gwen gay?-_

_-Fuck you. You know what I meant. Haven’t you thought the possibility of you and Gwen…-_ He shut up and looked at me? I was quiet and took three deep breaths, trying to ignore the silence and my racing heart. – _Have you?-_

_-Adam…-_

_-The truth. We have talk about this…we have agreed to speak the truth-_

_-I … might … have-_

_-I knew it! Fucking knew it! HA!-_ Adam screamed and celebrated – _What are you gonna do about it?-_

_-Nothing…you crazy-_

- _Blaaaaake-_

_-No, listen…listen to me. Gwen and I are friends and that’s it-_

_-Fine, fine…you two are friends and that’s it-_

_-Yes…that’s it-_

He shut up and the conversation went to the fact that Adam and Behati were actively trying to get pregnant and the fact that the band was hitting a low didn’t help the first issue not happening quickly.

_-Dude, always happens. If it can happen to one person, I can only imagine what would happen if there’s literally four, five or even six people in a band. Just, calm down and things are gonna come when they have to-_

_-We are coming up with this shitty songs and if a song can be good enough for an album, its cause it’s catchy, not because it’s good and I’m tired of that shit-_

_-Give you guys some time, something will come up, I mean, Sugar was such a hit-_

_-I guess… but it took us months before coming up with a slightly good song-_

_-Maybe you guys need to come back to what you know…-_

_-What do you mean?-_

_-Your first record was such a success, why don’t you guys go back to that place?-_

_-We have talked about it_ –After a heartbeat _\- Maybe you should do the same…-_

_-What?-_

_-You told me about wanting to put an album out there so people would move on from the divorce songs, right? Why don’t you make it worth it? Like, songs you want to tell and your own story but getting those divorce songs people want so bad...-_

_-So, you mean use it to pass by the attention and the tension-_

_-Yeah. You can even do something with that non-relationship you share with Gwen-_

_-Fuck off-_

_-I mean it… I truly do-_

The rest of the trip was a quiet drive, the scenery was quite stunning and some parts were interesting enough to bring my attention to it, took us almost an hour to get there and by that time, we both were starving.

_-God, I’m so hungry…this place must be good or I’m suing you for…being stupid-_

We got in, the place was half empty and the teen that received us, opened his eyes wide and stutter his way to our table, at the end of the restaurant, a little dark and a nice booth, perfect. Sat down and order some drinks as we looked at the food and after I decided for some pasta with an unpronounceable name and Adam went for a veggie one, he looked at me and shook his head.

_-Today is not your day-_

_-What do you mean?-_

_-Look who’s there-_ I looked to where his eyes were set and I saw Gwen talking to some guy on one of the tables at our right. The guy was looking at her in a clear haze, he looked at her like she came from heaven and was walking between us mortals. She did looked amazing though, I have to admit it. They were laughing out loud.

_-See, she’s right there. On a date-_ Hell that hurt. She was dating already? WHAT?! She cried two nights ago talking about the separation from her kids, but now…she was eating in a restaurant that she loved, with a man and in a dark corner, fuck.

_-Maybe it’s not a date…-_

_-Dude, two people in a restaurant far from home, sitting down in a corner, at least one of them single…it’s a date-_

_-Wait? Are WE on a date? I mean, I know I have talked to you about me being open to a lot of things but cheating on B and hooking up with you it’s not one of them-_ Adam tried to be funny. He knew how I felt, or at least had an idea and fuck, I hate being vulnerable which had become my second nature since January. _\- Dude…-_

_-Forget it, Adam. Let’s eat-_ In another moment I would have asked for a beer, a vodka or some sort of alcohol, but I have been on a cleanse the last couple of months. I had been drinking a little too much and it had been obvious for some people so I stopped altogether, at least for a while as I gather myself.

The food arrived and I tried my hardest to keep my mind away from that blond a few tables away. Adam and I started to talk about our teams and the pairing, even talked about our advisors and I could see his eyes going from me to where Gwen was sitting in. After the third time I saw him doing it, I snapped.

_-Stop it. Look at me, I’m the one talking-_ I snapped

_-I know. I know…It’s weird, like very fucking weird-_

_-I know, but either way, stop it-_

_-The food is pretty good, though. I guess you remembered who told you about this place, huh?-_ Adam trying to crack a joke at this moment, had me wanting to murder him.

_-I cannot believe you two are here! You came by-_ I heard her voice coming through with the guy following her. He was a skinny dude, blonde and a bit tan, around her height and had a big smile on his face, but who wouldn’t if they had a date with Gwen.

_-Gwen? Oh, My!-_ Adam stood up and hugged her as I got up waiting my turn to do the same. Gwen turned to me and she hugged me tightly and then left her arm on my shoulders as he introduced us to her date.

_-Blake, Adam ...this is my friend Justin Tranter. Justin, Blake Shelton, and Adam Levine-_

_-Nice to meet you, man-_ Adam shook his hand and I did the same with a tight handshake.

_-It’s my pleasure to meet you too, Gwen has told me so much about The Voice, you two are the star of it all but I do have to say, especially you, Blake-_ As his words left his mouth, I smiled- frankly quite dry and fake but smiled at the end- I was so caught up in the awkwardness of the situation, I didn’t catch Gwen blushing at the dude’s words, Adam did though and he just raised his eyebrows at her.  Before neither of us could answer, his phone rang and he took it quickly, apologizing and walking away.

_-You remembered this place-_

_-Yeah, I did-_

_-Blake was all: Gwen told me about this place, we should totally go. So, we are here-_

_-Did you like it?-_

_-The food is great, I’m surprised is half empty, though-_

_-It gets super crowded on the weekend. Never come on those days-_

_-I’ll remember that-_ I stared at Gwen trying to decipher her mind, her thoughts and …her date? Was it good?  Did she like him? Why didn’t she talk about him the last time we saw each other? She, on the other hand, was looking straight at me, her hand on my forearm –holding it- and her eye set on my face. Adam was just looking at both, rolling her eyes every time. The silence was so fucking awkward, it was almost hard to breathe.

_-Sorry, here I am-_ The Justin guy returned

_-Everything alright?-_ Gwen asked, slightly concern.

_-Yeah, sweetie, everything is great-_ That really set my jaw to stone. _–Ready?-_

_-Yeah. See you guys on Monday, right?-_

_-Yeah. Monday…-_

_-Bye, cowboy. Bye, Adam-_

_-Bye, girl-_ Gwen and the guy walked away and Adam and I sat down again, looking at my food, suddenly disgusted and not hungry anymore. _–Damn, remind me to never be between you two in any occasions. It’s always awkward for all kinds of reasons-_

_-What do you mean?-_

_-The other day, you two were ignoring everyone and were having a deep conversation about croissants. I was in the middle and I can bet anything, neither of you noticed me-_ I blushed hard, we did notice, late and right after I got my elbow on Adam’s side.

_-Whatever-_ I kept eating fighting the blush and I received a text, no long after that.

“Hey, cowboy. What about a movie? Tonight?” I looked at the text and felt my gut clenching for many reasons. Was she texting me after a date? So the date turned out horrible? Was I gonna become the guy who she calls whenever the date turns south? Was I really that deep in the friend zone?

_-What happened?_ \- Adams asked while he asked for the check.  I just turned my phone out to him and his brows went up. – _What are you gonna do? You do know she saw that you read it…-_

_-Yeah… I do. Am I the king of the friend zone?-_

_-There’s only one way to find out-_

“I’ll ask Adam to drop me off at my place and then I’ll head to yours”

“Kay *smiley face*”

We left the restaurant and headed straight to Gwen, where Adam left me even though I asked him not to, called in, walked in and saw her standing at her entrance, wearing the same clothes but her feet completely naked, and damn sometimes I wonder how other naked parts look like on her.

_-Hey-_ I stood right in front of her, on the street.

_-Everything alright?-_

_-Yeah… all good-_

_-You guys were quick-_

_-Adam doesn’t mind speeding-_

_-Hope he is careful-_

_-He is… honestly-_

_-Aren’t you gonna come in?-_ She asked with a laugh

_-Yeah, I am-_

I entered and waited for her to close the door to follow her to the main living room, the mood already set. The tv was on, there were some popcorn and chips on the table and even a couple of sodas.

_-What movie are you in the mood …-_

_-Where is the Justin guy?-_ I interrupted her

_-What?-_

_-Justin…the dude you went out with-_

_-He dropped me off, he must be at home-_

_-Ok-_

_-What is it with you?-_

_-Just…took me by surprise. Didn’t know you were dating, and suddenly hit me like a brick-_

_-Dating? Blake…-_

_-I get it…  I do. He’s handsome – I guess- blonde, fit and he looks like he’s from here and he seemed nice. It just surprised me, that’s all. Anyway, what movie did you get?-_  I took the movies off her hands as I tried to not punch myself at my stupid comment.

_-Wait… hold on a second. You’re not gonna just say that and act normal. What the hell?-_ She took the movies back from me and turned to me

_-What? I just said something dumb and unimportant-_

_-It is not dumb and unimportant. You’re accusing me of dating someone-_

_-I’m not accusing you-_

_-Yes, you are-_

_-It took me by surprised, I said. I mean, damn it. I didn’t know we were allowed to just…date. I didn’t know we were dating-_ I was getting worked up and I stood up.- _Not us. You know what I meant-_

_-Yeah, of course, we are not dating… I know that-_

_-What’s that supposed to mean?-_

_-Nothing. Listen, I’m not…-_

_-You don’t owe me an explication. Ok? Is just… damn, wasn’t ready to see you there and we have been…whatever. I should go-_ I walked to the entrance. I needed out

_-Blake…-_ She followed me and I was trying to contain my hurt, my anger and my shame, all at the same time.

_-Don’t, Gwen. Ok? I’m sorry. I just…didn’t know we were allowed to_ \- I said when I stood in her driveway

_-Allowed to what?-_

_-Date people-_

_-Blake! You’re not fucking listening to me-_ Screaming match, I guess.

_-Fuck. I don’t want this to get worse than it is. Listen. It has been great to hang with you…I just don’t want to make it even weirder. When I start dating and us getting weird… shit… what I’m trying to say is that…-_

_-You explain yourself. Actions speak louder than words. Remember that-_ She walked up to the door.- _Before you leave. Justin is gay, is in a relationship, I don’t wanna date anyone else and I thought you and I were…something. Definitely wrong-_ Before she could slam the door, I moved quickly and got my foot in between the door and the frame.

_-Wait…-_

_-No, you said what you wanted to say and I said what I wanted to say. It’s done deal and…stop it, move your foot-_ She was screaming, trying to move my foot off the door and for the first time I actually showed her my strength.

I moved my foot and opened the door, she stumbled back. I slammed the door shut and walked in, moving her back to the wall and pressing her to it. I moved my neck down and looked at her, straight in the eyes.

_-You’re not dating him-_ I said.

_-No-_ Loud and clear

_-He’s gay-_

_-Yes. Didn’t you notice?-_ She rolled her eyes, now. Fuck, I fucked up.

_-You’re single-_

_-Yes-_

_-You thought we were…-_

_-Blake…-_ She broke my gaze and started to look directly at my chest

_-Building something?-_

_-Blake…-_

_-Look at me, gorgeous and be honest-_

_-We have been texting and talking for weeks…I thought-_

_-Me too. That’s why I got so bitter when I saw you with him, in a restaurant you said you liked to go out to with people you love-_

_-Justin was just signed as one of the writers for my album-_

_-Did he? Is he good?-_

_-I think so-_

_-Good-_ I answered and was hard trying to fix my stupid mistake. Apologizing was the obvious and needed reason but there were so many things left to say, we both said things that could consider a shift in the relationship

_-Can you stop pressing me into the wall?-_

_-I don’t know. I kind of like you there-_

_-Do you?-_

_-Yeah-_

- _What are we doing?-_

_-I have no clue… but for some reason, I kind of like it but it terrifies me-_

_-I’m scared too-_

_-I was hurt, bad-_

_-So, was I, gorgeous-_

_-I thought I was using you-_

_-How?-_

_-You get my head away from it all, really…you do. Then it made me feel bad, about it, the using you part but things…changed-_

_-What would you say, if I tell you that you do the same for me and things changed for me too-_

_-Did it?-_ I got my forehead on hers, our eyes locked in the moment, both trying to get what the right thing to do was

_-How about we just…help each other?-_

_-How?-_

_-Doing what we have been doing but more-_

_\- More? Of the usual? More things?-_

_-Both-_

_-I like that-_

_-Just a question…-_

_-What?-_

_-Can I kiss you? Is that part of the whole building thing? Cause, girl…I’ve been dying to do that since day one-_

_-Yeah… you can-_ And with that, it was a deal. That’s it. I looked down to her lips and bent my head as she got on the tips of her toes to get closer to me, and after a hesitant second, our lips touch.

The kiss wasn’t passionate, wasn’t deep or long, it was the testing kiss, the kind of kiss two people have for the first time, it was the kind of kiss that two people who haven’t kissed anyone in a few months have. It was a kiss filled with dreams, hope and a lot of faith. It was the perfect kind of the first kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> By the way, that interview does exist. It's one with Blake and Pharrell talking about Rihanna on Extra with Renee. (I love her btw)


End file.
